Can you slay this movie monster?
by Staff
Are you ready to earn your degree in slayanomics? Think you can murder your way through the foulest and meanest monsters ever to slouch their way out of our cinematic nightmares? Let's put your knowledge to the test.

Vampires are allergic to all sorts of stuff. Seriously, you can take them out with everything from running water to a pile of knotted yarn. But let's say you're dealing with Count Orlok in 1922's "Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens." What method should you use?

  • crucifix beat down
  • stake to the heart
  • direct sunlight

Here comes another vampire. This one has a taste for gaudy robes and butt-shaped hair styles. Yes, it's Gary Oldman in 1992's "Bram Stoker's Dracula." If we follow that film, what's the best way to dispatch this fabulous fanger?

  • stake to the heart + immolation
  • knife to the heart + decapitation
  • crucifix to the face + immersion in water

Some vampires require far more esoteric methods of execution. Take the reaper vampires from Guillermo del Toro's 2002 slayfest "Blade II." Their peculiar anatomies make them exceedingly difficult to kill, unless you're willing to indulge in some heavy Catholic imagery. Which of the five wounds of Jesus Christ does Blade use to defeat arch-reaper Nomak?

  • spear wound
  • crucifixion
  • the crown of thorns

Werewolves are tough as nails but highly sensitive to silver. If you take your cue from the classic 1941 flick "The Wolfman," what's the best way to slay the beast with a little Ag?

  • silver dagger through the heart
  • silver walking stick beat down
  • silver bullet (preferably fired from a gun)

Surely the modern werewolf is wise to the slaying methods of curmudgeonly old men, right? If we take our tips from the 2010 remake of "The Wolfman," how should we vanquish our snarling, lupine adversary?

  • silver dagger through the heart
  • silver walking stick beat down
  • silver bullet (preferably fired from a gun)

Frankenstein's monster is coming at you like a juggernaut. He's flat-topped and bolt-necked, so he's probably the Boris Karloff variety. What slaying method, illustrated in the iconic 1931 film adaptation, should get the job done?

  • burn it with fire
  • sink it in Arctic waters
  • impale it with a lightning rod

By the 1950s, your average Frankenstein's monster was a tougher nut to crack. Just consider 1957's "The Curse of Frankenstein," Hammer Film's first take on the monster that starred Christopher Lee. What slaying method does this film recommend?

  • set it on fire, push it off a cliff
  • set it on fire, dissolve it in acid
  • zap it with electricity, behead it

Frankenstein's monster is supposed to stand as a blasphemous offense to our standards of decency. After all, the mad doc's playing God! Still, 1973's "Blackenstein" finds whole new ways to offend us. What method defeats this blaxploitation take on the creature?

  • sic a pack of dogs on it
  • kill it with disco music
  • set its polyester suit ablaze

Let's leave the classic canon of movie monsters and go a little old school. In fact, let's go a little <i>gamol leorninghús</i>. In the Old English epic poem "Beowulf" (as well as the 2007 film adaptation), how does our hero defeat the monstrous Grendel?

  • tears its head off
  • rips its arm off
  • breaks its back

It takes more than raw strength to defeat other ancient monsters. Take the legendary Kraken, for instance. According to "Clash of the Titans," what deadly relic will you need to bring down this terrifying leviathan?

  • a manticore's head
  • a unicorn's horn
  • a Gorgon's head

Monsters created through sorcery present their own share of problems. Consider the golem of Jewish folklore. This being of clay becomes animate via an elaborate rite of sorcery. The 1920 film "The Golem: How He Came Into the World" is the only surviving example of Paul Wegener's silent golem series. How do the villagers deactivate the monster?

  • roll the appropriate letter on a dreidel
  • erase a letter on its forehead
  • take away its amulet

Conan the Barbarian sure knew how to take down a monster. Why, in the 1984 film "Conan the Destroyer," the muscle-bound sword-slinger takes down not one but two sorcerous creatures. Which of the following methods does he NOT employ?

  • rip out its jeweled horn
  • crush a crystal statue
  • smash a bunch of mirrors

Not all leprechauns are wish-granting, good-natured tricksters. Some, like the star of the "Leprechaun" horror franchise, are total nasties. Luckily (ha!) there are several ways to defeat these impish monsters. Which of the following methods is NOT used to defeat the leprechaun in the six original films?

  • bludgeoned with a piece of the Blarney Stone
  • impaled with an iron crowbar
  • shot with a four-leaf clover in a wad of gum

If you're not afraid of monstrous plants, then maybe you should be. The killer asparagus from 1962's "The Day of the Triffids" could "spit poison and kill," as Richard O'Brien was good enough to remind us. But triffids are also easily defeated when exposed to this common element.

  • laughter
  • sunlight
  • salt water

Mindless alien plants are one thing. Spacefaring extraterrestrials are quite another. Humanity faced just such a threat in Tim Burton's 1996 film "Mars Attacks!" Luckily, humanity discovered something that makes the aliens' weird, green heads explode. What was it?

  • yodeling
  • soap operas
  • professional table tennis

When shape-shifting energy vampires attack, you better know their weakness. In Stephen King's 1992 horror film "Sleepwalkers," that weakness turned out to be what?

  • cats
  • wine
  • gold

Sure, you're prepared to fight traditional Norwegian trolls with your fancy UV cannon, a la 2010's "Trollhunter." But are you prepared to combat the sinister troll Trantor from 1991's "Ernest Scared Stupid?" What should you shoot at this fat-headed ne'er-do-well?

  • vinegar
  • milk
  • holy water

When squaring off against the nightmare-inducing Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's "It," you have to go a little esoteric. What strange and sacred rite enables its defeat?

  • The Ritual of Can-toi
  • The Ritual of Char
  • The Ritual of Chüd

When globs of ravenous space jelly run wild through small-town America, someone has to step up and stop it. The human race managed to pull it off in both the original 1958 "The Blob," as well as the 1988 remake. What turned out to be the entity's big weakness?

  • fire
  • cold temperatures
  • sodium

The 1979 sci-fi monsterpiece "Alien" spawned quite a few subpar knockoffs. In which one do the heroes kill the ravenous extraterrestrial by feeding it a human lung tumor?

  • &quot;Creature&quot; (1985)
  • &quot;Galaxy of Terror&quot; (aka &quot;Mindwarp: An Infinity of Terror&quot;) 1981
  • &quot;Forbidden World,&quot; (aka &quot;Mutant&quot;) 1982