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Who Said It: Tracy Jordan or Jean-Ralphio Saperstein?
by Staff
It's the battle of outrageous loose cannons: Tracy Jordan of "30 Rock" and Jean-Ralphio Saperstein from "Parks and Recreation." Can you match the quote to the character?

"When life gives you lemons, you steal some of your grandma's jewelry and you go clubbin'."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Dress everyday like you're gonna get murdered in those clothes."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I made my money the old-fashioned way — I got run over by a Lexus."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Are you ding-dongs making fake drugs for sophomores, because if true, this guy wants in!"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I'm gonna have so much money, my grandkids are gonna play lacrosse."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Why don't you turn that frizown upsidizity?"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I hope you brought a change of clothes, 'cause your eyes are about to piss tears."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Guess who's got two thumbs and just got cleared of insurance fraud? This guy!"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I can't read! I sign my name with an 'X'! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I'm happy as a clam who wants to kill some woman."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Why don't you live your life like that cow from the video?"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I don't need therapy. I'm just mentally ill."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I don't know where the paperwork is, but when you find it, can you take care of it for us? We don't have any pens 'cause we're afraid it's going to leak on our shirts."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I'll be on you 24/7. I'll be like your family. I'm here when you get here in the morning. Sure enough, I'll be there tucking you into bed at night. Don't worry, it's not gay. Do we have questions?"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Live every week like it's shark week."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"One time I waited outside a woman's house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her." 

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"If you think it's about the money, you're even dumber than I look."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"That snizz is straight-up dee-loy-cious."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"The night is young, and neither are you."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I want to hold up a mirror to society and then win the world record for biggest mirror."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"My incompetence knows no bounds."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"How married are you? You down to clown?"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I'm gonna take a nap. See you in 10 hours."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"This is bad! Because I can't change — I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Quote from 'Love Actually,' hold back your tears, pause … drop the microphone."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"Did someone call for a party zoo?"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I don't get why people like brunch. What's the benefit of combining breakdancing and lunch?"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I create a game show … two people on stage, right? They flip a coin. One of them has to perform open heart surgery; the other one has to receive open heart surgery. We call it 'Open Heart Surgery.'"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!"

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio

"I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo. They were very drunk."

  • Tracy
  • Jean-Ralphio