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Which Roman Emperor Would You Be?
by Zoe Samuel
In its heyday, the Roman Empire was the mightiest the world had ever seen. It was ruled over by a variety of people with all sorts of different personalities. Which are you most like? Take this quiz and find out!

Who is your true love?

  • Myself
  • My loving wife
  • My wonderful mistress
  • Why choose just one?

How's your military prowess?

  • Not great, but I do have good generals.
  • Surprisingly good, as far as my enemies are concerned.
  • Stupendous. I could win a war with six good men armed with toothpicks.
  • I'm not a bad soldier myself but I shouldn't run an army.

There's a fire! What do you do?

  • Time for some music.
  • I have anticipated this and have a fire department ready to go.
  • Organize the soldiers to put it out.
  • Panic, probably.

Do you love democracy?

  • Nope. I love autocracy.
  • Not really. It was a mess last time we tried it.
  • No, I'm too good for it.
  • Yes, I reintroduced it.

How do you feel about trade?

  • It's the key to a strong realm.
  • I'm for it if negotiated in a position of strength.
  • Conquest is my preference.
  • It's not my main focus.

What's your signature look?

  • With my fiddle
  • A plain but expensive toga
  • My military uniform
  • Nude, surrounded by beautiful people

How do you feel about your neighbors?

  • I like to be diplomatic.
  • I keep them at arm's length.
  • I take things they have that I want.
  • I'm a bad neighbor, but I don't plan to change.

Can your word be trusted?

  • Most of the time
  • Yes, though if you break my trust, brace yourself.
  • Only by my family
  • Nope

Do you anticipate living a long, healthy life?

  • No, I'll probably get in too much trouble sometime.
  • Yes please.
  • Yes, but the world has other plans.
  • Live fast, die young!

Do you think society is degenerate?

  • A little corruption is a good thing.
  • Yes, it's terrible.
  • I do, but it's not my biggest worry.
  • Yes, it's one of the things I like about it.

Do you fear a military coup?

  • I hope not.
  • Nope. Everyone's in line just as I want them.
  • Not at all. I led a very nice one.
  • Totally.

How sadistic are you?

  • I can be quite sadistic.
  • I am too cold-blooded for sadism, but I can be ruthless.
  • I'm not.
  • Extremely

How should history remember you?

  • As a rather major screw-up and despot
  • As someone who ruled well and gave monarchy a good name
  • As someone who did what was best for his country
  • As a very promiscuous tyrant

How corrupt are you?

  • Off the charts
  • Not very
  • Moderately
  • Very

Do you get on with people from your own social class?

  • I certainly do.
  • Yes, among others.
  • No, I prefer the common man.
  • Not really

How about people from a lower social class?

  • Not even a tiny bit.
  • They look up to me and approve of me.
  • They admire my strength. We get each other.
  • They're my base.

Would you ever change your name for your personal brand?

  • Yes, if you're adopted, it's only polite.
  • I sure did.
  • Nope. Take me as I am.
  • I got a nickname stuck on me and I kept it.

What's something a lot of people don't know about you?

  • I inspired some people to want to be like me.
  • I write poetry.
  • I have dizzy spells.
  • I'm a very good liar.

What's your ideal signature achievement?

  • To build beautiful things
  • To establish prosperity and make a great empire strong
  • To change the course of history
  • To live a long happy life

Who would play you in a movie?

  • Hans Matheson
  • Simon Woods
  • Everyone
  • Malcolm McDowell

Were you an early bloomer?

  • Sadly no, even though I should've been.
  • Yes
  • Yes, but I took a long time to get fully established.
  • No, which was my undoing.

Are you attractive?

  • Nope
  • Reasonably so
  • I'm a unique taste, but if that's your thing, I'm your guy.
  • Not really, but I get a lot of attention all the same.

What's something difficult you survived?

  • Political and civil unrest
  • Shipwreck followed by travel over hostile territory
  • Kidnap by pirates
  • The death of my family

What do you make of Mark Antony?

  • I appreciate his military genius and what he did to keep Egypt Roman.
  • Hate that guy.
  • Arrogant guy but you gotta admire him.
  • I envy his love affairs.

Someone insults you. What do you do?

  • Burn Rome.
  • Say something pithy, and send them to the furthest reaches of the empire to subdue the barbarians for you.
  • Manipulate the senate into destroying them politically.
  • Sleep with their spouse, then have them killed.

What's another job you'd like to have?

  • Senator
  • Tribune
  • Governor
  • Quaestor

How popular are you?

  • Not at all
  • Reasonably
  • Immensely
  • Very

How loyal are you to your friends?

  • I'm not.
  • I'm a good friend to have, but don't cross me.
  • I'm changeable.
  • I don't have friends.

Do you get on with soldiers?

  • Not really.
  • I do, but only in a professional capacity.
  • Yes. Salt of the earth, they are.
  • I used to be one, but I didn't like it.

What's your redecorating style?

  • Knock it down and design the building from scratch.
  • Murals!
  • See a house I want and take it.
  • Expensive, put it that way.