Article: 25 Crucial Questions to Ask on a First Date: HowStuffWorks
25 Crucial Questions to Ask on a First Date
By: Teresa McGlothlin
About This Article
You've met someone you find attractive. You've asked them out, and now it's time to go. Before you stress out about the right questions to ask, take a deep breath. First and foremost, you should focus on having a good time! With any luck, things will go so well you won't need any questions at all.
You've already taken steps to get to know your date better, but now it's time to get down to business. Of course, you want your questions to be fun! You should also want them to tell you more about the person sitting across from you. Asking any of these 25 crucial questions can help you see beneath the surface of your attraction. They can get your date to open up to you like an old friend!
Even the simplest questions can give you insight and informtion, but you don't want to sound boring. "Where are you from?" and "What's your favorite color?" have been asked on every date that ever existed! Step outside the usual and take a step into your future by asking the essential questions. They will provide you with the honesty you need to either go on that second date or avoid it!
Which app do you use most?
It might sound like a silly thing to ask on a first date, but it will help you cut to the chase! Before you reach the familiar phase of staring at your phones together, ask your date which app they use most. Not only will it save time wondering what they are doing later, but it will also tell you a little about their lifestyle. Using an email app all the time might suggest that they work a lot. If Tinder is the answer you get, they might not be as interested in coupling up as you are!
What would you take me to do in your hometown?
First dates are not exactly the right time to pry into someone's past! You can do that later. First dates are for getting to know each other better and for seeing how well you vibe. Asking a simple question like what they would take you to do in their hometown is a sly way to get a sneak preview. Avoid coming off like the FBI, and their answer will let you know how serious they're willing to get. It can also tell you whether or not they are running from themselves!
If we were hiking and we encountered a bear, what would you do?
Asking a humorous question like this one will probably make your date laugh, and that's a good thing! What your date won't realize is that you are summing up their character. If your date replies with an equally humorous answer, you are probably on a date with the right person. Any response indicating that you would be left in the woods to fend for yourself means you might want to rethink a second date. Hopefully, you'll get to ask this question rather than answer it on a first date!
Do you call your boss or your parents more often?
You're not nosy by wanting to know if your date talks to their parents or their boss more often! Asking a little question like this one can show you where your date's life priorities are right now. While it's great to have a close relationship with your family, it's another thing to be an adult and need their constant guidance. On the other hand, calling their boss more might tell you that their time is wrapped up in their career. It will let you know how well your lifestyles sync up.
What makes you feel like doing a happy dance?
Everyone likes to be proud of themselves! You should always look for the positives on a first date, and asking what stirs your date's soul is a great way to begin. Whether they tell you it's landing a new account or how many zombies they took out on their Xbox, you'll know more about them when they answer. You know what kind of person you want in your life. Learning what makes your date feel good or happy can tell you if you've found that person.
What was the best thing about your most embarrassing moment?
When considering letting someone into your life, it's essential to know how they are going to handle the not so happy stuff. Asking them what they liked most about their most embarrassing moment will tell you what you need to know. Every relationship will come with less than pleasant moments, and you deserve someone who can find the positive in life's sticky situations. Don't forget to share your most embarrassing moment; it's only fair!
If you could give your younger self advice, what would it be?
They say that people never really change. Your date's answer to this question is a sure-fire way to get a little insight into the kind of person with whom you are sharing your fries! It might sound a little cliche, but knowing what advice your younger date needed can tell you a lot. Their response might tell how happy they are in life now, or it could reveal your date's level of maturity. Either way, it's a little window into their past.
What is the first thing you do when you get home from work?
Whether you are looking for a long-term relationship or someone to hang out with, asking about the after-work version of themselves can be like taking off a mask. No matter what you want in your relationship, we're assuming that you want someone with interests. If your date's answer is along the lines of hitting the nearest bar or wolfing down a bag of corn chips, you might want to keep scrolling through the dating apps.
Are you a cat person or a dog person?
We naturally associate cat people with certain traits and dog people with certain traits. Seeing the way your date's eyes light up when they talk about animals will show you their softer side! Plus you'll know if your date will be allergic or merely intolerant to your favorite fluffball. You should never choose a date over your pet. Hopefully, you'll get the same kind of answer from your date that you would give! If not, it's not a good idea to hit up a second date.
Which celebrity would you like to meet for lunch?
When your date answers this question, it's not the celebrity they choose that matters. It's the reason they would like to have lunch with them. Admiring someone's work or being a fan is great, but wanting to meet a celebrity because they are hot or because they want to take a selfie might be a red flag. Meeting your favorite celebrity is a good chance to find out more about that person and to express appreciation of their work. Any other answer means your date could have a big case of personal vanity!
Has anyone ever ghosted you?
Being ghosted seems to be a relatively normal part of dating life these days. One day, you're dating. The next, it's like your partner has fallen off the face of the earth. Make sure you are not on a first date with someone who sees no problem with the practice. If they have been ghosted in the past, they know what it feels like. It will give you a window into their past dating life, and it will show how they treat others.
If you didn't like a gift, would you be honest about it?
At any dating stage, honesty is the best policy. Your date might want to gloss over this question by saying the right thing but watch their body language. Do they look you in the eyes, or do they look away? No one wants a gift to be disliked, but it happens. Your future partner should do their best to avoid hurting your feelings, but some things need total honesty. Unwanted gifts are small in comparison to the life issues you'll face during your relationship!
What was your first apartment like?
When you ask your date about their first apartment, we're hoping they've had an apartment. If not, get up and walk away! Dating is all about meeting someone to share your life and your space. Finding out about their first apartment will let you know about their level of responsibility. Even if they are living in their first apartment now, knowing that they can fend for themselves is a good sign. You've made it as far as you have! You deserve someone on your level.
Do you read all the reviews before you buy something?
Look, it's your first date! You can ask whatever you want, and asking about your date's buying habits is an excellent way to figure out how finicky they might be. You don't want a try before you buy type of future, and dating someone who reads the reviews can tell you a couple of things. Someone careful with quality will most likely be cautious with you. Conversely, getting out the wallet too soon and making impulse purchases can warn of a lack of seriousness or a temporary view of everything.
Does it bother you when someone doesn't share your opinion?
Everywhere in life, you have to know how to agree to disagree. It's a heavy question for a first date, but it's better than finding out later. Stable relationships are full of different opinions. Sometimes, you'll both be wrong! Mature adults should have the ability to communicate their stance without needing to be right all the time. A need like that might tell you that your date is insecure!
How do you cheer yourself up?
Your first date has the potential to turn into a lifelong partnership, but you'll always need to know how to rely on yourself. A stable connection is based on two individuals deciding to conquer life together. That doesn't mean that your date should need you to always make everything better for them. Asking what your date does to cheer themselves up is a good way to detect any codependent issues. Even if your partner likes to wear toe socks to work, they should be able to make themselves smile.
Would you say that you are a neat freak?
Let's talk about compatibility! Are you the type that cannot leave the house until the bed is made? Or, do you only clean up your world when someone special is coming over? Finding out your date's neat freak tendencies is a small question full of big answers! If you are comfortable living your life in the middle of a huge dumpster fire, you might not want a relationship with someone who always wants things to be perfect.
When you get bored at work, how do you liven things up?
Unless your date has a job packed with nonstop action, they probably get bored at work, too. Your date could be the type who chooses to play video poker or pull pranks on their coworkers. Or, they could be the type that pitches in and helps others. Either way, finding out how your date entertains themselves will let you know if you have a rule-breaker on your hands!
If we went on a picnic, what would you pack?
There's no better way to get to know someone than to travel with them, and this fun question gives you a peek inside the way someone's mind works. Will they take the necessities like bug spray and a blanket? Or will they be more concerned with fancy cheese and drinks? Even if you changed this question to something like an overnight stay or a trip around the world, their answer would give you a good measure of their practical life skills.
Did you get along with all your classmates in school?
This is a real lie detector of a question! Think back to your school years. There's a good chance you didn't get along with absolutely everyone. If your date gives an enthusiastic answer, dig a little deeper. It might sound like we are a bit skeptical, but this is your future we're talking about! If nothing else, this is a great way to get to know the kind of people your date grew up with. The stories are probably priceless!
What song can you sing word-for-word?
Most of our questions have been a little serious, but you're on a first date to have fun, too! Questions like, "What is your favorite band?" are boring. Your date has probably heard it as many times as you have been asked it. Instead, ask your date to name a song that they can sing word-for-word. There's a high probability you will end up either laughing—or learning more about your date's musical tastes. If you convince your date to sing it for you, you know you have a keeper!
Do you order pineapple on your pizza?
Whatever you do, do not talk about politics on your first date! In our political climate, you could quickly lose your attraction to someone after hearing about their viewpoints. You can find those out later. Instead, ask them about something you also feel strongly about, like pineapple on pizza. Whether you like it or you don't, it will give you a fun way to agree. More importantly, it will provide you with a light-hearted approach to see how the two of you can handle any future disagreements!
What item is most sentimental to you?
You are most likely on a first date because you think someone is cute. If things are going well, ask about their most sentimental item. It could be a little soul-bearing for some first dates, but it's a lovely way to peer into your date's soul. It could be a trinket from childhood or a medal they've earned. Learning about their special item—and the reason it means so much to them— can open up the emotional part of your relationship. It can move you beyond attraction and straight into love!
What did you dream about being when you were a kid?
There's nothing more adorable than thinking of your date as a child. This kind of question serves a deeper purpose, though. Getting your date to relive their childhood dreams can show you a lot about their ambition level and their psychology. Most kids wanted to be an astronaut and never got there, but did you date accomplish their dream or something close to it? Seeing how far your date has strayed from their childhood dream and what they've made of themselves will give you more in-depth insight.
How do you feel about surprise parties?
Some people love surprises, and some people hate them. Both responses to surprise parties are entirely reasonable, but it's important to learn how your date feels about them! Surprise parties might be one thing, but lacking the ability to deal with the unexpected can be a real warning flag. Your relationship will be full of surprises, and you need to know if your date can be a good sport. After you ask this question, dig a little deeper. You'll find out precisely what you need to know!
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