'90s Kids Should Be Able to Finish These Cheesy Product Slogans. Can You?

By: Lauren Lubas

The '90s gave us a lot of great slogans with words used out of context. Sure, Bounty towels picked up your messes quick, but do we have to call it a picker upper? That seems like a machine that was invented to lift large objects.

If you were in middle school or high school in the 1990s, you may have been propositioned with this slogan or some other pun that went along with the product. Nike had a nice idea for a slogan, if children didn't call a certain *other* activity "it."

When you got two pizzas for the price of one, you knew you were getting a deal. If you were lucky, your parents sprang for some crazy bread to add to your carb feast ... but only if you were lucky.

It wasn't about 15 minutes of fame with Geico. However, they did their best to skip the cold-calling step, and pleaded with people to call them, offering a possibility of saving hundreds of dollars on their car insurance. The slogan worked very well for the company.

American Express used to offer a protection plan on items you bought with the card. These days, however, they leave it up to the stores who sell the items, but they do want to remind you not to leave home without that credit card of yours.

M&Ms candies had a lot of great slogans in the 1990s. Who could forget the blatant exploitation of the Millennium commercials in 1999? In the early 1990s, however, they stuck to what they were good at: explaining how the chocolate melted in your mouth and not in your hand.

Some of the commercials of the 1990s tended to get a little weird. This was because people didn't want to be "sold" on products, they wanted to be entertained while they watched television. Mentos did a great job of creating 30-second stories with their commercials.

Deodorant commercials before the 1990s weren't up to par with the entertainment that was necessary to keep a viewer's attention. However, if the deodorant commercials had songs and stories, they became memorable.

The early 1990s brought us a lot of jingles that we may never forget. One of those jingles was the song that showed people having a wonderful and relaxing morning with a cup of coffee and a quiet house. It wasn't realistic, but it was effective.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch wasn't a terrible tasting cereal. The idea was that you had cinnamon and sugar toast for breakfast, so why not turn that into a cereal? The company even went so far as to create brand mascots, the chefs, to appeal to young children, but it wasn't until the children could see the taste on the bits of cereal that they believed it was good.

Tuna companies were in a lot of trouble in the 1990s, as we learned what bycatch was and how for every can of tuna we ate, one Flipper was murdered in fisherman's net. It made people start to wonder who Starkist was actually apologizing to.

It seems like the big word of the decade was "Delicious." Everything had to be delicious in the 1990s, and the word delicious popped up in a lot of ads (pay attention, because we're giving you hints for future questions). Lucky Charms were magical and delicious ... they were magically delicious.

FedEx wanted everyone to know that they moved quickly. However, if you showed up at one of their stores to drop off a parcel after 11 am, overnight basically meant the day after tomorrow.

"Doo nDoo Da Doo Doo" ... erm, sorry. We all know this song rather well, and most of us can't hear it without envisioning *NSync on a beach, begging for ribs. Oh, Justin Timberlake ... you hit that note perfectly.

There was something about making cereal mascots do some crazy things. We all know the Trix Rabbit tried to steal, but Sonny was the craziest of all. He even admitted to being crazy for the chocolate cereal he represented.

Campbell's Soup never joined the cartoony craze of marketing to children in the 1990s. Their commercials were wholesome and warmed your heart, like their soup warmed your belly (and gave you heartburn).

The actual slogan for Grey Poupon mustard was "One of life's finer pleasures," but everyone remembers the question being asked. Some uptight rich dudes in a car are battling over a jar of mustard.

Kix were a great cereal for kids who didn't like sweet breakfasts. Yes, there were children out there who didn't enjoy a giant bowl of sugar for breakfast, but for the most part, it was the last cereal left in the pantry in the summer time.

We know the honey bee from Honey Nut Cheerios commercials very well, but a lot of people don't realize that he started off as a cartoon (not CGI) who bizzed and buzzed around guys singing at the piano.

If you didn't have a napkin while eating KFC, you had to lick your fingers. Not necessarily because it was good chicken, but that's what the slogan wanted you to think. We guess, for some, grease is good, so it probably isn't false advertising.

Wouldn't it be better to say that Poptarts were so hot, they were cool? Have you ever tried to eat one of those directly out of the toaster? If so, you probably remember the icy heat sensation as the fruit filling cauterized your taste buds.

What better way for Pringles to take advantage of the compulsive eating nature of people in the 1990s. They wanted to let you know that it was totally cool to eat without stopping, as long as it was their chips you were stuffing in your face.

If you've ever eaten these, you probably never wanted pizza again. However, they were a fun marketing ploy in the 1990s, as all '90s kids just wanted pizza for dinner (exclusively), and if they could have some for a snack, it helped parents curb their cravings.

If you aren't singing this slogan in your head right now, you probably never saw the commercial. Of course, when they sing it, it seems like the words zest and fully are separated.

If you're wondering why '90s kids have anxiety, look no farther than this game. You had to be perfect and fast, or you got a bunch of plastic shapes blown into your face. Nothing scary about that.

Of all of the cultural appropriation happening in the 1990s, the chihuahua Taco Bell commercials took the cake and splattered it all over Latinx culture. At least they made plush toys out of it, we guess.

If a boy wanted to marry you, you got a Ring Pop on Valentine's day. You probably never married that boy, though. This was mostly because the Ring Pop was gone by lunch time, and so was the romance.

You're probably still singing the end of that song, so we'll wait for you to finish ... Now that you're done, it's important to know that McDonald's really had a lot of great slogans in the 1990s, and believing in magic was a part of those slogans.

Before Lil' Sweet popped up in our living rooms and on our phone ads, we had a prescription from the Dr. Pepper commercials. It was telling people that this drink was all they needed to relax and have fun.

Some of us '90s kids had a weird rubbery Noid character with a wire frame that we could pose. Others simply just ate Domino's and watched their weird commercials that interrupted TGIF.

We often wonder if anyone ever actually attempted to count the chocolate chips in a bag of Chips Ahoy! cookies. Additionally, we wonder if the chocolate chips at the bottom of the plastic rack counted toward the 1,000.

Kids were pretty violent in the 1990s (mostly because there were so many violent cartoons, movies and video games for us to play). With Sock Boppers, parents could avoid bare knuckle boxing matches, and settle for broken noses.

If your company has to tell people that they do something properly, they probably aren't doing something properly. As the pizza craze consumed children of the 1990s, KFC became less and less of a fast food option.

No one is certain how you can see honey flavors in a small puffy flower made of wheat and corn, but for some reason this slogan resonated with us. (We know it was supposed to be a honeycomb shape, and not a flower shape, but just look at the cereal, would ya?)

In the 1990s, there were a lot of products that were big on taste and big on sugar, but Three Musketeerrs took it a step further, claiming to be big on chocolate. This is probably because they never had a Magnum ice cream bar.

The Jolly Rancher commercials of the 1990s had to be some of the best commercials of all time. They played with words, had excellent visuals, and delivered a lot of information in just 30 seconds.

Before the Snapple lady graced us with useless information, Snapple marketed its products like any other beverage company: with an athlete. We aren't sure how fake juice and iced tea help tennis performance, but Snapple knows the secret.

Juicy Fruit's flavor may have only lasted as long as the commercial ran, but it was a nice fruity flavor (although we couldn't identify what fruit we were tasting). For some reason, people thought it was a good idea to market gum that gave people energy ... even though it didn't.

After "Have a Coke and a smile" and before people's names were on bottles, Coke had to try something new. They wanted to market their fountain drinks, and to do so, they showed high schoolers in an undisclosed restaurant getting refills. It probably didn't do much as this slogan didn't last long.

Even if you were young and didn't wear makeup in the '90s, you probably know this slogan as well as you know your birthday. Maybelline commercials were played during "90210" and other shows that starred teenagers played by twenty-somethings.

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Image: The Coca-Cola Company

About This Quiz

Do you know what 15 minutes can save you? Do you have what it takes to avoid the ... whatever it is? We bet you know all about avoiding messing with Texas. If you're a '90s kid, you may have some vivid memories of the slogans that you heard on the radio and during your Saturday morning cartoon programming. This is not an accident. Everyone knows that a simple catchphrase or slogan can attract a kid to a product, and everyone knows that repetition is the foundation memory and retention. In the '90s, advertising took on a whole new role with slogans that did exactly what they were supposed to do: get stuck in people's heads for-e-ver. 

If these earworms have attacked you, don't consider yourself a victim, because it all comes down to passing this quiz. You may be able to tell us what the San Francisco treat is, but you probably wouldn't be able to do it without singing the song tortured us in 1998 (woo-oo oh-ooh!). 

'90s kids rejoice! We have the ultimate cheesy product slogan quiz for you. Finish these slogans and you will be the champion of 1990s advertising, but make a mistake, and we may have to send you to Y2K. 

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