Are You Being Taken for Granted in Your Relationship?

Zoe Samuel

How often does your partner thank you?

How often do they say they love you?

If you were to come home late unexpectedly, what would they do?

Do you ever feel kind of invisible to them?

If they're going to be late home, do they tell you?

If they had a friend you didn't like, could you tell them?

Have they ever changed a habit for you?

Have you ever changed their mind about something?

Do they make plans for special occasions?

If you want them to perform a small task like tidy the kitchen or take out the trash, how many times do you have to ask?

Have they ever told you that you are: overreacting, hysterical, shrill, unreasonable, or being ridiculous?

If you ask nicely twice, they say they'll do it, they don't do it, and then you sound a little short on the third ask, how do they react?

Do they ever do things like clean or tidy the house without you having to ask?

Do they ever reach out during the day just to say something nice to you?

Have they ever picked you up from the airport?

Can you tell them your deepest fear?

Can you just sit quietly and be chilled out around them without worrying at all?

Do they ever talk about future plans you haven't actually agreed on, like kids or moving someplace?

Do they expect you to spend more time with their friends or family than they do with yours?

If they wanted to have friends over to your place, how would you know about it?

Do you ever have meals that only one of you likes?

If you have kids or a dog, who does most of the caring for them?

Which of you handles most of the greasing life's wheels, like sending cards and thank you notes, or organizing repairs to your house?

Do they ever hold any grudges against you?

Do they know your prescriptions?

Do they ever offer to pick up something for you on the way home?

Do you see a long term future with them?

Do your friends and family approve?

If you have a success like getting a raise, how does your partner react?

If you're just feeling blah, but haven't mustered the wherewithal to say something, what are the odds that they would notice anyway?

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About This Quiz

Love is something we all aspire to find, but true love isn't the only thing a relationship needs. Once one partner starts assuming that the other one will always be with them and put up with their crap no matter how they behave, that relationship is on the road to ruin. Sure, it may stagger along for many years after that point of no return, but it's a zombie love that isn't really fulfilling for either partner. However, even loving couples can find it easy to fall into such a pattern, and it's certainly possible to come out of it when it occurs - if the will is there and the baseline of respect is maintained.

A truly loving relationship is one between equals, who know how lucky they are to have their boo in their life and make an effort to show it. They might have times of illness or employment trouble where they need to lean harder on their partner, but they don't just take for granted that they have the right to such things. Instead, they say, "Thank you" and do whatever is in their power to prove that they really do intend to always put the "significant" in "significant other." So tell us about how your boo is with you, and we'll see whether they're taking advantage, or whether you've really struck relationship gold!

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