Can We Guess if You're British or American?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Can We Guess if You're British or American?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

I say, old chap, is it possible that you're a fellow Britisher, or do I have the pleasure conversing with Johnny Foreigner? Hey, y'all, you come from round these parts, or ain't you a Yankee?

If one of those sentences sounded like the English language and the other one sounded like utter nonsense, that alone tells us an awful lot about whether you hail from Britain or America. These two nations, separated by 3,000 miles of ocean, are united by far more than has ever divided them. Both are representative republican democracies designed as a free market economy with a social democratic component that invests in and protects their weakest members - more or less, depending which one you look at. Both share similar enemies and have most of the same friends. If you're from the Pacific Northwest, you even share a climate with America's ancestor and best friend!

However, there are still differences between the two cultures. America is a vast, sprawling, gloriously chaotic place that contains multitudes of diverse subcultures, but it's still possible to compare its most widely-held stereotypes, values, and ideas to its buddy across the Atlantic. Tell us about yourself, and we'll figure out if you hail from the States, the Kingdom, or a little of each!

What was your favorite children's TV show?
Sesame Street
Voltron
Andy Pandy
Button Moon
What kind of car did your parents own when you were a child?
An Acura Legend.
An Oldsmobile Roadmaster.
A Ford Fiesta.
A Ford Ka.
What sort of city do you consider exotic?
New York
Hong Kong
Kathmandu
Orlando, FL

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Who goes out in the midday sun?
Not me man. I've got AC up in here.
I'm strongly considering it!
Mad dogs and my mate Dave.
I do!
What would you say if I told you that the sun has got its hat on?
What?
Great!
Huzzah!
Hip hip hip, hooray!
What is a reasonable speed limit?
One I can flagrantly ignore.
65 mph
70 mph
Speed limits are an infringement on my rights.

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How is your lane discipline?
My what?
Terrible.
Not bad.
Well, it's not German-good, but it's good.
Who is white van man?
Some dude who will kidnap you and sell your kidneys.
The people from the mental hospital who will lock you up!
Some old codger who can't drive.
Some workman too busy texting his boss to pay attention to the road.
Do you like guns?
I'm very strongly for or against them.
I'm somewhat for or against them.
I think about it from time to time, but I don't feel strongly.
I don't really have strong feelings about them.

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What do you call the system by which you measure things?
There's a name for it? I just called it feet and inches.
The metric system.
The English system.
The imperial system.
How much do you weigh?
X Pounds
W Kilos
Y Stone
No idea mate.
What do you call those long roads you drive on?
The interstate.
The highway.
The motorway.
I wouldn't know, I take trains everywhere.

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Who were the biggest heroes of WW2?
Captain America and Indiana Jones!
The American soldiers at Iwo Jima.
The sailors at Dunkirk.
The boffins at Bletchley Park.
What caused WW2?
Pearl Harbor.
The Wall Street crash of 1929.
Appeasement of Hitler.
The Treaty of Versailles.
What is the most exciting motorsport?
NASCAR
Rallying
Touring Car Racing
Formula 1

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What sport is the most masculine?
American Football
Caber Tossing
The Wall Game
Rugby
Who was/were the coolest gangster(s)?
Al Pacino
Al Capone
Roy Francis Adkins
The Kray twins
What is the coolest sports car?
The 'stang.
The 'vette.
The 7.
The E-type.

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How do you tie your bow tie?
Tie it? Everyone knows bow ties clip on.
In the bathroom, with a how to video on my phone.
With moderate difficulty.
On my neck. Where else would I tie it?
How far is far?
A few thousand miles.
A thousand miles.
Five hundred miles.
Thirty miles.
How much sugar should be in a slice of bread?
Enough.
A teaspoon or so.
As little as possible.
WHAT?!

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Who is your county's best friend?
We don't need any friends!
At this point? Does Guam count?
Ireland.
Australia.
What year did you get your first cellphone?
2004
2001
1998
1996
At what temperature do you complain about it getting hot?
100 Fahrenheit
90 Fahrenheit
80 Fahrenheit
75 Fahrenheit

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How would you describe the French?
Cowards.
Really nice people.
Fine, taken on an individual level.
Rude.
What is the worst thing about Italy?
It's soooo far away!
It's expensive to get to.
It's not very well run.
It was never part of the empire.
What's the best thing about America?
Out civil servants swear allegiance to our freedoms.
We're the world's most potent superpower.
The optimistic ambition of America.
The movies.

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What's the best thing about Britain?
Knights and stuff!
The Queen is awesome!
It has got an interesting and increasingly diverse culture.
Well, um... um... I wouldn't like to brag, but it's quite a kind culture, and it's got a good sense of humor.
How much money needs to change hands for it to be a political scandal?
We didn't bat an eye when a government official handed a few billion to his old employer.
These days it looks like about $130,000.
How much does a birdbath cost?
Any money. Any at all.
Does your vote count?
No, it seems not.
That depends on the race.
Yes, apparently.
Yes, tragically.

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You Got: