Can you finish these hilarious Ace Ventura quotes?

Annette

"______ then!"

This is one of Ace's best expressions. What would Ace Ventura be like without "allllllllllrighty then"?

"If I'm not back in five minutes, ________"

We should all start telling people to just wait longer. Ace says this when climbing into the empty dolphin pool.

"Yes, _______? Sorry, sir, you sounded like someone else."

Yes, Satan? This is a classic line that Ace says to his landlord, who sounds like Satan, indeed.

"Like a ______."

Ace has a penchant for parking his car "like a glove." And by a glove, he means a pretty tight parking situation.

"Finkle is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkle" - that must mean Finkle is a ________!

Finkle is a man! This comes as Ace's final realization in the movie, when he solves the case. And then it's confirmed that she is a he.

"I gotta go guys! I've got a date with your __________!”

Classic Ventura. It's one thing to date a mother, it's another thing to date multiple mothers.

How does Ace say the word "loser"?

He likes to break it up. "That was a close one ladies and gentleman. Unfortunately, in every contest, there must be a loser. Loo-hoo-ser-her."

"Holy _______."

It's alarming to think of balls of sh$#, or even that they're holy in some way. But Ace manages to make it make sense.

"That's none of your damn business, and I'll thank you to stay out of my ________.”

This has actually been suggested as a great way of talking to your boss when you'd like to be fired. Think about it - you'd get fired that very day!

"I just can't do it, Captain, I DON'T HAVE THE ______!"

He does this one with his best Captain Ahab voice. Just kidding, it's his "Star Trek" voice. He uses it a few times.

When Lois says, "How would you like me to make your life a living hell," how does Ace respond?

Classic. Classic! Truly, a relationship with Lois would be a living hell.

When coming out of the bathroom, Ace exclaims what?

"Do NOT go in there!" Whoooooooo!!!!! I dare you to say that when coming out of the bathroom at a classy restaurant.

"Hello, I'm looking for Ray Finkle," Ace says, and a gunshot is heard. What does he say next?

After hearing a gun fired, Ace asks for a clean pair of shorts. Anyone would in that situation, right?

Aguado steps on a cockroach and says, "Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?" He replies what?

Okay, that is seriously funny. And by Aguado's reaction, perhaps Ace was right.

"Holy _____ Tuesday!"

Holy Testicle Tuesday! Next time you come into the office on a Tuesday, you need to use this exclamation.

"For God's sake, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a _______!"

Ace says this when he's down deep in the tank. All pool men need to use this line from time to time.

Mrs. Finkle says, "Dan Marino should die of______ and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?"

I don't know if you can die from gonorrhea, but it seems like it wouldn't be pleasant. Finkle was seriously pissed at Dan Marino.

"Excuse me, I'd like to _____ you a few questions."

This is when Ace begins to pull his cheeks apart and talk with his bum. The gentleman at his desk does not find it amusing.

When solving the case, Ace says, "I have ______ the demons!"

I have exorcised the demons! Ace says this with a charming Southern dialect. It's an exclamation of victory!

"Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still ______? All righty then."

He says this to Lois, after she threatens to make his life a living hell. I have a feeling he wouldn't be able to reach Lois at 911.

"Oh yeah? And you're _______."

Never use this quote on a woman. It's not going to go over well. It works just fine when you say it to your brother, though.

"Is it ____________? I just want to know how much time I have."

Please use this line the next time someone tells you they're going to the bathroom. It's always good to know how much time you're going to have.

"Had I been drinking out of the ______, I might have been killed."

Yet again, something that you can say to your landlord, next time the plumbing is broken. Please note, it's never recommended that you drink out of the toilet. Even during a drought. Especially during a drought!

"I'm in _______ and Finkle's the mayor!”

To be fair, Finkle is really a psycho. And every now and then, you find yourself stuck in Pyschoville.

"Warning: ______ are closer than they appear.”

This can be used anytime you spot someone in a rearview mirror. Particularly if they steal your parking spot.

"Be careful with that phone, lieutenant. In time, you could develop a _________."

Don't ever say this to anyone. Too many people have phones that they use too much. And it's not confirmed that they give you a tumor.

Ace hands a package to his neighbor, who says, "Sounds broken." Ace replies what?

What a friendly thing to say to your neighbor. Advice: don't ever deliver a broken package to anyone. It will look like your fault.

"So... animals ______ sense evil!"

If you're walking your dog, and they bark at someone you don't like, then use this line. This is a total classic. And it's true.

Melissa: "Did you have trouble getting in?" %0DAce: "__________."

It is appropriate to say this when someone greets you after you get off a plane. I mean, let's be honest, they're going to start using rubber gloves at the airport soon.

"I came to confess. I was the second gunman on _________."

This is of course a reference to JFK. Many still think there was a second gunman, but none has been discovered.

"I've. . . GOT TO, _______!"

This is Ace doing his "Star Trek" voice again. "Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the... nearest decimal point. We've... traveled back in time to save an ancient species from... total annihilation."

Who says, "You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy"?

This is expertly delivered by Dan Marino, the football legend. He has a delightful cameo in the movie.

"It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he had held the ball, _________, like he was supposed to..."

Mrs. Finkle loses her composure when she complains that Dan turned the laces in. The laces were supposed to be OUT!

What does Ace say when his car starts?

This was Ace's Frankenstein moment. He sure does a lot of impersonations in this movie.

"Lovely party. Pity _________."

Everyone needs to use this line when they walk into a party. Please. You've GOT TO, MISTER!

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Image: Morgan Creek Productions

About This Quiz

Ventuuuuuuuura! Everyone has seen the Jim Carrey classic, "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective," and the quotes are some of the most hilarious in movie history. Can you finish these all-time favorite quotes? If not, it's time to rent the movie!

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