Can We Guess If You're Secretly an Angel or a Demon?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Can We Guess If You're Secretly an Angel or a Demon?
Image: DrGrounds/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

It is understandable that you would not want to stalk the Earth in your true form as an otherworldly spiritual emanation of either good or evil. If you did that, with your tail, wings, many eyes, blinding halo or bale of hellfire, you would freak people out, and those who disagree with your raison d'etre would come after you with torches and pitchforks, like in the old movies.

What did you do? It's difficult to tell the specifics. Perhaps you took the visage of some poor mortal who took a bad step and fell in front of a train, or you invented a persona out of whole cloth, fabricating a life, relatives, friends, a job, et cetera, all in service of infiltrating humanity for whatever reasons you have.

We don't want to get in the way of your mission, good or evil. Frankly, with your divine or infernal powers, we are no match for you. We would, however, like to know whom you represent. Are you an angel? Are you a devil? Or are you something ... in between?

You may think us mere mortals no threat to your illusion, but we can pierce it. All we need is for you to answer a few short questions and we will know if you are secretly an angel or a devil!

Who do you root for at a baseball game?
The home team
The team that plays hardest
The team that plays cleanest
The underdogs

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How do you take your steak?
Medium
Well done
Rare
Medium-well

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Who makes the best German luxury cars?
Mercedes-Benz
BMW
Cadillac
Audi

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What is the appropriate attire for a wedding, for men?
Black tie
Jorts
Ask the host!
A black suit

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Which of the following is the most egregious abuse of the English language?
I'll have an expresso.
Slight of hand
I could care less.
On tender hooks

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How quickly do you get the new iPhone when it comes out?
I wait a few months.
I get it the day it comes out. I know a guy.
I don't bother with that.
I get it a week after it comes out.

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How fashionable are you?
Not very fashionable
I stick with the classics.
I'm on the bleeding edge of fashion.
I keep up with trends.

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What form does your acne take?
I get it on my back.
I only get it ... in unmentionable places.
I get it on my face.
I get it on my chest.

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How do you parallel park?
Carefully, by pulling a little ahead.
I drive in front first.
Line up the front bumper of my car with the front door of the car in front, then back in.
Wiggle back and forth, blocking the spot so I can definitely get it.

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What is the first thing you do when you get on a crowded train with a backpack?
I look for a place to stand out of the way.
I bash people out of the way and grab a seat.
I take off my backpack and put it on the floor.
I find a seat and spread out until people move.

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How quickly do you pounce on heated arguments on someone else's Facebook page?
It's rare that I do.
Immediately
I don't.
In minutes

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Does your car have vanity plates?
No, but it has bumper stickers.
It does, and the message is obscene.
No
It does!

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What do you do when someone in front of you on a flight of stairs stops to send a text, or get a phone call?
Politely ask them to step aside.
Shove them down the stairs.
Gently push past.
Shove them aside.

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If you accidentally shoved someone while in a rush, what would you do?
Apologize and carry on
Shove harder, run faster!
Stop, make sure they are OK, and then double time it!
Rush faster! I'm in a hurry!

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Are you secure enough to take a joke about yourself?
Sure
No. I'll cut you.
If it isn't offensive to others
No, I'll say something back.

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Do you get your laptop out of your bag while waiting to get to the head of the airport security line?
When I remember to do that
No. I'm tired. I'm slow. Leave me alone.
Always!
No, I have texts to send.

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What percentage of your social media posts is support for others?
About a third
None
Half
An eighth

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When you drive on a highway, under what circumstances do you drive in the left lane?
if I'm trying to pass someone
When I feel like it
When I go to pass someone
When I want to go what I consider fast. Or slow. It depends on my mood.

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What percentage of your social media posts is bragging?
A quarter
Almost all of it
Very little
Most of it

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Would you sacrifice your life to save a child?
Almost certainly
No way!
Even if it was the kid from The Omen
Probably not

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How often do you walk past a homeless person without blinking?
Rarely
Always!
Never. How could you do that?
Usually. I have my own problems.

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All things being equal, how often do you take the side of the powerful person in a conflict?
Rarely
Nearly always, with one notable exception.
Almost never
Usually. I'm with the status quo.

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Do you look down on others who don't share your views?
I work hard not to.
Of course! They are all wrong!
I don't. Ever.
I'm prone to do that.

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How quickly do you pile on when your peers gang up on someone?
A long time. I have to decide if they are right before I join in.
I jump on immediately! Let the rivers run red with blood!
Nearly never, with one notable exception.
After I finish reading all the Twitter and Facebook threads, I jump in.

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How much of your income do you donate to worthy charities?
Quite a bit
None! What's mine is mine!
As much as I can afford
If I do it, it's an accident.

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How many enemies do you have?
Few
Heh. Many.
Only one
I have a top ten.

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Which "Game of Thrones" character is your favorite?
John Snow
The Mountain
Robb Stark
Cersei Lannister

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Which of these bands would you choose to write the soundtrack of your life?
The Eagles
Oasis
Crosby, Stills, and Nash
Pearl Jam

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How would you handle coming in to work one day only to find out you were fired and no one thought to tell you?
I would probably cry.
I'd sabotage the toilets on my way out.
I would quietly ask the boss, in private, what they plan to do to make up for this.
I would steal some office supplies while I cleaned out my desk.

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What was the best Star Wars film?
A New Hope
The Force Awakens
The Empire Strikes Back
The Phantom Menace

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You Got: