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How Good Are You at Bargaining With Car Salesmen?
by Mark Lichtenstein
SHutterstock

Do you think you have what it takes to negotiate with the master negotiators of the automotive industry? Car salesmen are beings sought after throughout the universe for their ability to bend the truth, obfuscate the fine print, and just generally rip people off. Seldom are humans capable of standing in their way.

Few things are as dreaded by intelligent life forms as bargaining with a car salesman. Wading through hydrochloric acid swamps filled with armored piranhas, climbing the electrified razor blade peaks of mountains made of ennui, and even drinking a pint one thousand proof vodka pale in comparison to the challenge of going toe to toe with the most duplicitous lizard men in the universe.

Car salesmen come out of their clone tube equipped with just enough gray matter to understand the minutiae of contracts, how to tempt buyers by putting an unattainable vehicle on a plinth outside the dealership, and how to tell exquisite half-truths that pass through the cerebral cortexes of higher life forms without scrutiny. These beings weren't bred for a normal life, but rather one entirely devoted to extracting more money than is reasonable for transport mechanisms that last 10 to 15 years.

Do you think you could outwit, out-bargain, and outmaneuver a car salesman? 

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