How Judgy Are You?

By: Marie Hullett
Estimated Completion Time
9 min
How Judgy Are You?
Image: Emilija Manevska / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

"I felt your judgy eyes!" one of the Foster sisters says to the other on the satirical reality show "Barely Famous." If you're a powerfully judgy person, you can definitely relate to this. When you pass judgment upon some poor soul, it burns right through their skull without you even needing to open your mouth. Some call it unfair or cruel, while you prefer to just call it the gift of discernment!

Others, however, cannot really relate. They might be discussing music or current events, and somehow, not one judgment does their brain make. Maybe they're just really chill, maybe their heads are stuck in the clouds, or maybe they're actually angels sent from above. The world may never know. 

Whether you judge people for having no children or many, judge cringe-worthy taste in art or snobby tastes in food, chances are you've passed judgment before, though. Maybe you judge people who don't read books, or maybe you judge people who brag about their bookcases. Perhaps you judge people who eat food on the metro, or perhaps you tweet your judgment to the whole world (cough, Natasha Tynes). What, you haven't read that news scandal? I'm totally judging you! 

So, just how judgy are you? We'll be the judge of that ... 

Coffee's a topic that gets many people stirred up. What's your strongest coffee-related opinion?
I dunno. Coffee is coffee!
OK, I'm not that picky, but I draw the line at instant coffee. If you're pouring one of those packets into your mug, I will definitely side eye you.
I will roll my eyes so hard at the 120-degree, oat milk macchiato with a dash of sea salt and two pumps of vanilla people.
Starbucks tastes like boiled ash and garbage and people who drink it have no taste.

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You're talking to someone about current events, but it seems they haven't heard the big news. What do you think?
I just explain to them what happened.
Sometimes people don't have time to read the news, I know, but I can't understand not knowing breaking news like this.
I'm seriously taken aback. Do they even read the news?
They're so uneducated.

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Your neighbor always dresses super fancy, even just to go to the grocery store. Thoughts?
They look great.
Definitely a little extra
Who are they trying to impress?
Try-hard. Times ten.

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One of your coworkers confides in you, explaining a huge technical error they made on the job. What's your response?
Meh, everyone makes mistakes.
People make mistakes, but that's a pretty glaring error.
Wow, I can't believe they did that. I wonder if they're qualified for this position.
I might have to tell the boss. They should be fired for that!

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This woman you just met is raving about the latest episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashians." How do you react?
Ask her what she thought about the Kylie and Jordyn Woods drama, obviously!
Meh, it's not for me, but who cares what she likes?
I'll definitely cringe, because I can't stand that show (or the Kardashians).
Ugh, gross. Only people as unintelligent as the Kardashians themselves can watch that trash.

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You just found out that someone you know has never read your favorite book, which is widely considered a classic piece of literature. What do you say?
I can lend it to you, that is, if you want!
Wow, no way. You HAVE to read it.
But have you read ANY books by this author?
OMG, do you even know how to read?

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A friend of yours just mispronounced quinoa, and they've also never tried it. How do you respond?
I don't mention it.
Tell them that they totally have to try it! And gently correct their pronunciation.
OMG, you don't know what QUINOA is?
Gasp! You uncultured fool.

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Pretend that you just walked through a horde of Potterheads in line for the latest book (Surprise! There's one more). What's going through your head right now?
Oh no, I'm going to be at the back of the line!
I like the books too, but some people take their obsession to an extreme.
I wish people would get this excited about more sophisticated books, to be honest.
These adults who are obsessed with a kids' book are totally immature and embarrassing. Plus, lining up for anything is embarrassing.

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You've been texting someone who consistently uses the wrong form of your/you're. Thoughts?
Whatever, I'm not the grammar police.
I tend to make some assumptions about incorrect grammar.
I give them a grammar lesson with just the right amount of snark.
Bye, Felicia. They're gone. (Although they would probably spell it "there," ha!)

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You're talking about university with a group of acquaintances. How likely are you to judge people based on where they went to school?
Not likely. It doesn't really matter.
Somewhat likely. I also tend to judge people who didn't attend college.
I definitely will make some assumptions on how intelligent or hardworking they are, but who wouldn't?
Umm, very. If employers do it, why can't I?

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You just met someone who has never traveled outside the U.S. What do you think?
A lot of people can't afford to travel or don't want to.
Well, 64% of Americans don't have a passport, so it's not like that's unique.
OMG, I can't imagine. How awful.
How pathetic. They must be ignorant and uncultured.

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You carpool with your coworker, who always listens to the Top 40. When you inquire about their musical tastes, they list off major pop stars like the Jonas Brothers and Ariana Grande. What's your inner monologue sound like in this situation?
I love me some Ariana, too!
Don't get me wrong, I like the Top 40, too. But I don't understand only listening to the hits.
OK, but have you heard of Pitchfork?
Yikes. Get some real taste in music.

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Your aunt and uncle are going on a cruise! What do you think about that, really?
If they'll have fun on it, that's great!
Cruises definitely aren't for me, and I can't help but wondering why people would go on one.
It's just so typical, middle-aged tourist.
Gross and tacky. Why don't you actually travel somewhere instead of sitting on a boat?

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You're at a party, and someone you just met hasn't seen like, any of the indie movies you love. What do you say?
Do you have any movie recommendations?
Honestly, I'm not really sure if a conversation about movies can go much further at this point, haha!
OMG, I can't believe you've never seen this French movie. It's like, the most powerful piece of cinema of the last half-century.
Ugh, get lost.

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Maybe you heard about the Houston school that imposed a dress code on parents who pick their children up from school or attend events. What's your stance on that?
I don't endorse any dress codes.
I mean, I think the ban on parents wearing ripped jeans is going a little too far, but the sentiment is OK.
I think I'm for it. It teaches respect.
I'm totally for it! Parents should not be picking up students in sweats or with towels on their heads. So not classy.

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This person you just started dating is always sending you memes from like, a million years ago. How do you react?
They're still funny! I'm glad someone's digging these gems up. Plus, it means they're probably not glued to their phone.
Meh, I can overlook a few tired jokes.
Umm, I encourage them to make a Twitter account.
What, are they 99 years old? Dump them. Their lack of savvy is inexcusable.

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This same person texts things like "ROFL" and "xD." What are your thoughts?
They think I'm funny, hopefully?
Meh, I don't really care if they LOL in an outdated way. OK, maybe I do a little.
I'm ROFL about them ROFL.
What is this, 2006?

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How likely are you to roll your eyes at someone you deem to be a 'hipster'?
Not likely. I wouldn't think of someone as a hipster anyway.
Meh, not very likely
OK, fairly likely
Every. Single. Day.

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How about someone you consider "uncultured?"
I don't consider anyone uncultured.
Some people's lack of cultural knowledge and experience definitely shocks me.
Being uncultured is the same thing as being ignorant, as far as I'm concerned.
Ugh, basically everyone I have to deal with is an uncultured swine.

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Whether you're clicking through Instagram stories or walking down the street, how often do you label someone "basic?"
I don't!
Now and then, sure.
OK, pretty often. But you should see where I live!
Every day. As far as I'm concerned, being basic should be a crime. I see those Lululemons and Snapchat filter, girl.

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This woman at your gym wears a full face of makeup every day. What do you think?
I don't think anything about it.
Meh, sometimes I wear makeup to the gym, too, but hers seems like a little much.
I assume she must be afraid to go without it, which is pretty sad.
Ugh, gross. She must be so insecure. And doesn't the sweat clog her pores?

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Let's talk about life. What's your philosophy?
Privilege is real. So much of life boils down to the cards you were dealt.
A positive attitude goes a long way.
Success requires a mix of hard work, determination and maybe just a tiny bit of luck.
People inevitably get what they deserve.

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You're on a first date. When your potential love interests orders, they ask the server to hold the spice. What do you say?
Um, nothing?
I love spice, but it's not the end of the world if they don't.
I prefer someone who likes a little more flavor, honestly.
Pathetic. If you can't take the heat, it's over!

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It turns out you had several dates lined up, and now you're on another one. This person just orders a salad and water. Thoughts?
None?
I kind of wish they would order more so I wouldn't feel like a pig, but whatever.
it would be fine if they didn't order it with RANCH DRESSING. Where are we, Applebee's?
UGH. They're either cheap or a freak about their health, neither of which I can handle.

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Your coworker eats a lot of fast food. What do you think of these frequent McDonald's and Taco Bell outings?
What they eat has nothing to do with me!
I can't help but think about what it's doing to their health.
I think it's super unhealthy and they should cut back.
Yuck! Have some self-respect.

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Speaking of dietary habits, what do you think about your vegan coworker?
Again, who cares what people eat?
I mean, I only judge them because I just KNOW they're doing the same to me when I eat my turkey sandwich.
They seriously need to get over themselves.
Ugh, people are supposed to eat meat. Vegans are the worst.

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Someone you follow on Instagram always posts a long string of hashtags in earnest. What do you think?
Nothing, I just click on some of them. I was wondering what's new in #photooftheday.
Well, I guess it's a good way to promote your following.
I think it's kind of annoying.
How super, incredibly, morbidly embarrassing.

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Be honest. How do you feel about food pics and #foodie posts?
Those yogurt bowls are super impressive.
They get old, but who cares? I can keep scrolling.
None for me, thanks. I'm so tired of cronuts.
If they weren't made of pixels I would burn them all in a fire.

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You know someone who always raves about comic books, attends Comic-Con and dresses up like their favorite characters for the events. What do you think of them?
Cool!
Kind of dorky, but kind of fun, too
It all seems childish to me.
Soooooooo nerdy. DId I include enough Os?

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A friend of yours always reads celebrity gossip columns. What's your opinion on this?
I don't have one.
I don't really get the appeal, but whatever.
Look, I look down on celebrity gossip and sports gossip equally, at least.
So vapid and ridiculous. How can you derive any pleasure out of made-up stories?

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