1. Anywhere but London
   Paris
2. London

All Londoners know that London is the greatest city in the world. Sure, it costs 50p to use the loo, but who cares?

1. Annoying​
2. Lovely!

Being helpful when a tourist asks a question is lovely. Especially great after you've had a pint.

1. The Tube
   A taxi
2. By foot

Being able to walk to a party on foot is a miraculous experience. But understand, this is a rare occurrence.

1. Seeing the​ movie "Notting Hill"
2. Seeing your area on TV

Sure, "Notting Hill" and "Love Actually" are fine, but seeing your own area on TV fills you with pride and bliss.

1. Asprey
   Oyster​
2. Olive

The Oyster card is your ticket to travel. When the oyster card machine is broken on the bus and the driver just waves you on, it's a good day.

1. To pray for the Queen
   Your wallet
2. Your umbrella

Remembering your umbrella before you dart out of your flat is a good day in London. Usually when you remember it, it doesn't rain.

1. Car
   Box
2. Carriage

Everyone in London knows that it's not a tube car, it's a tube carriage. You must select the proper carriage so that you're left right near your exit when you get off.

1. Leave work late
2. Leave work early

It's a good day in London when you leave work early. It's also rare to have an incident-free commute.

1. Chick Fil-A
   Shake Shack
2. Chicken Cottage

Go ahead and order that Chicken Cottage box. If you're lucky, you'll get a free spicy wing.

1. Carry out
   Carry away
2. Takeaway

Londoners practically live on takeaway. They're particularly fond of a good curry.

1. Soot nose
   A black thumb
2. Dry hair

When you go home and discover you have soot nose the moment that you blow into a tissue, you know that you're a Londoner.

1. Starbucks
   Olive Garden
2. Sam Smiths

If you don't know where the nearest Sam Smiths pub is than you're not a Londoner. Hopefully, there's one at the end of your block.

1. The bus
   The tube
2. The trolly

It's all right to bark this at people. The tourists are the ones that won't move down.

1. Bathing
   Dressing
2. Speaking

It's so difficult dressing properly in the morning. You never know what kind of weather you're going to get.

1. Wonderful!
2. No big deal

A major eclipse is no big deal because you can't even see it, thanks to the clouds. There are no stars, either.

1. Architecture
   People​
2. Greenery

There isn't enough greenery in London! You pine for the days when you had a garden.

1. Kensington Park
   Big Ben
2. Brixton Station

It's a disaster at Brixton Station in the morning. The same goes for Oxford Circus and Waterloo.

1. A pub
   Victoria Station
2. Work

Victoria Station at rush hour on a workday is simply criminal. You might not even be able to step inside.

1. A morning taxi
   A night bus
2. An express train

The night buses are absolutely frightening. That being said, they can be amusing if you're drunk.

1. Boring
   Loud
2. Expensive

Money is a serious issue in London. It's so horribly expensive, you're dubious of anyone that can afford a home.

1. Your neighborhood
   Central London
2. The Oyster zone

Seriously, when you leave the Oyster zone you might as well be traveling to space. You're no longer in civilization.

1. Yes
2. No

It's actually fun to ride the double-decker! In fact, it's particularly great when you have the whole top to yourself.

1. Only at the bar
   Only at the zoo
2. Yes

In fact, sometimes you'll glimpse a fox! There are some days that you'll see a parakeet or a terrapin!

1. Lunch break
   Rainy day
2. Tube strike

There's nothing that sets fear into a Londoner's soul like the words "tube strike." That being said, it's great if you can work from home.

1. Zones 1-3
   Anywhere
2. Near the Thames​

To get a seat at a pub in zones 1-3 is like a blessing from god. This is a religious experience.

1. A cafe
   A coffee shop
2. The Pret

In London, it's all about the Pret. In other cities, this is known as the Pret a Manger.

1. A tourist
   An errant friend
2. A charity person

When you're not stopped by one of those charity people on the street, then it's a good day. But this is almost impossible.

1. Pamphlet
   Sample
2. Plant

You gotta love the days when you get a free sample at the tube station. Even better is something free from the Pret.

1. A jolly homeless man
   A police horse
2. A rabid animal

Londoners love to see police horses trotting down the street. Look, it's a real horse!

1. A special pass
   An excuse
2. A coat

You love riding the Thames Clipper, but it's important to have an excuse to do it! The same with other tourist attractions.

1. Spring
   Summer
2. Autumn

You truly know that it's autumn when the rodents come out. At least you can look forward to the leaves.

1. 2%
   5%
2. 10%

Good God. Yes, the annual rent increase is roughly 10%. If you can haggle this down, it's a religious experience.

1. Right
2. Left

Always stand to the right so people can pass on the left. It is infuriating when foreigners don't do this.

1. The London Eye
   A West End theater
2. The Barbican​ Centre

Only a true Londoner knows how to get into the Barbican Centre. This is a fact.