What % Stereotypical Millennial Are You?

Zoe Samuel

Would you like some avocado toast?

How many social media platforms are you on?

Are your jeans recyclable?

What are you personally doing about climate change?

Have you ever walked into something because your nose was in your phone?

Can you watch TV without also scrolling through Twitter?

How many jobs do you have?

Do you support marriage equality?

Do you worry about Miami disappearing under the ocean during your lifetime?

Did you vote in the last election?

What non-relative do you have on speed dial?

Do you know Siri?

Do you have any savings?

Does your job provide healthcare?

Have you ever spent more than $5 on a single coffee-based beverage?

How promiscuous are you?

Do you know what "cisgender" means?

How do you read the news?

Other than singles and couples, what is the biggest romantic relationship (in terms of number of people in it) to be found among your friends?

Have you ever called yourself a hipster?

Do you know how to practice affirmative consent?

When you see a relative under the age of 10 for the first time in a while, how do you greet them?

How many emojis do you have in regular circulation in your texting?

What are the odds that you will call any of your children Alexa?

Do you plan to join a union?

Have you ever made a successful pivot to video?

What do you think of the Baby Boomers?

What mileage does your car get?

Will you ever be free of student debt?

Do people frequently accuse you of "killing" industries because either a) there's simply better stuff now or b) you have no money to spend anyway?

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About This Quiz

If you believed everything you read about Millennials in the press - which is still mostly controlled by members of Generation X and the Baby Boomers, and entirely owned by about four Baby Boomers - you'd be convinced that the largest generation in America is an absolute waste of space. 

After all, Millennials are apparently subliterate, workshy weaklings who can't take the slightest criticism or engage with anyone they disagree with. They'd rather eat 14 avocados a day than save for retirement or a home, and they all have useless degrees in non-subjects then marvel that they weren't handed a steady job for life that can support a family of four. They like killing off super-cool industries like the hapless VCR-sellers, and they rarely lift their noses from their idiot phones.

The truth is that Millennials are actually the most hardworking generation currently living (the Greatest Generation having now retired or mostly passed). They work longer hours than their parents did at the same age, for less money. They face vastly higher rents relative to wages, and thanks to the collapse in union membership and changes in the global economy, they have no job security. Where their parents benefited from subsidies to buy homes and attend college, Millennials are saddled with tens of thousands in debt. Despite this, they are the most tolerant generation in U.S. history, embracing pluralism and diversity. They care about the planet and helping their fellow man. An avocado is the least they deserve, considering the crummy hand they were dealt.

Thus, while the avocado-munching, text-speaking, the social-media-addicted stereotype has a smidge of truth to it, the reality is far more nuanced. This quiz is going to focus mostly on the stereotypes - but we're also going to seek the truth behind them. Let's get started!

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