What % Trash Panda Are You?

Ian Fortey

No one will ever know how you answered this, so be honest. Have you ever eaten something that had thoroughly violated the 5-second rule?

Let's say you just woke up after an epic party and the house is a mess, but there's still pizza sitting out from last night. Are you eating some?

Without going to check, can you confirm that right at this moment your bathroom is spotless?

How often would you say you change the sheets on your bed?

Do you know how long you should wash your hands, according to the CDC?

Some folks are morning people and some aren't. What's your time of day?

So, have you ever stolen anything?

Are you good with your hands?

Do you feel like you have a bad temper or not?

What time did you go to bed last Saturday?

Do you like going for hikes in the wilderness?

Have you ever seen something in someone else's garbage that was so interesting you had to pull it out for a closer look?

Would you eat yogurt that expired yesterday?

What's the longest you've ever gone without a shower?

Raccoons are surprisingly adept in the water. Are you a good swimmer?

Do you wash your feet in the shower?

How many bags of garbage does your house produce in a week?

Straight up, are you pretty sneaky?

Do you have decent survival skills? If we dumped you in the woods with no cellphone or food would you be OK?

Are you a scrapper? Ever been in a fight before?

Do you look good in faux fur?

Are you leery of dark alleys at night?

Do you consider yourself an animal person?

If you're making yourself a salad, are you washing all the veggies before you use them?

How do you let people know if they're getting on your nerves?

What do you spend most of your time doing in the winter?

What's your opinion on camping?

Pick the coolest panda bear name!

Obviously, Rocket is the coolest Guardian of the Galaxy. Who's second best?

"Trash panda" is probably the most famous nickname for a raccoon. Which of these lesser known names do you like?

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Image: Walt Disney

About This Quiz

Far too many people in life have underestimated the mighty raccoon, and it shows. The reason so many people consider them a nuisance animal is that they're smarter than other animals. Your average alley cat or squirrel doesn't have the intelligence to rise to the level of a nuisance. But a raccoon does. They can use their little hands to open doors and sneak into places they don't belong. Studies have even shown raccoons can remember how to solve problems even years after they encountered them. They can also swim like they were born in the water and run at speeds of up to 15 miles per hour. They're fierce when challenged and also pretty good parents when it comes to showing their little ones the ropes of how to raid your trash can for premium, tasty garbage. 

We should be admiring the raccoon, even if it really earns the nickname "trash panda" for all the effort it puts into making a mess and eating junk. They're smart, crafty, and also pretty adorable. Just don't try to hug one in the wild, it'll be bad news. We should all aspire to be a little more like the noble raccoon. Want to know how much like one you are? Take the quiz and see!

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