Which Animal God Represents Your Soul?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which Animal God Represents Your Soul?
Image: Gabriel Perez/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

These days, those of us in nations with predominantly Christian, Muslim, and/or Jewish populations are accustomed to thinking of God as an unknowable force, beyond our small human minds - something so powerful and incredible you can only really appreciate it once you have passed away and thus ascended to a higher plane of understanding. Depictions of God as a beardy guy in the sky are typically seen as a little immature (unless Michaelangelo or someone else with great talent painted them). They are at the least understood to be an interpretation of God and not the fullness of whatever He is.

However, this is not how gods are seen everywhere, and not even how gods were always depicted in the places that now imagine a deity too powerful to really depict. There have been all sorts of gods throughout human history (though if you asked the gods themselves, they would probably say they predate human history by a long time) and many of them have taken on forms that were considerably more accessible, and that often represented something about that God's interests, character, powers, and even weaknesses. This includes many animal gods, who appear from Egyptian to Norse to Indian to Native American theologies. It's time to find out which member of this incredibly diverse pantheon is watching out for you!

Do you care what other people think of you?
Yes, somewhat
Not a bit
Depends who they are
I used to.
Do you participate in the rat race more than you need to?
Yes, a little
Not a bit
No, only about what is needed
Way more, yes - that is the only way to win.
Where are you most comfortable?
With my family
In the countryside
Theater
The boardroom

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Do you learn from your mistakes?
I'm trying to!
Not really
Yes, constantly
Yes, quickly
Are you philosophical in the face of misfortune?
Yes, somewhat
Yes, very
I'm getting that way.
No, I rage then I fight back.
Who is your role model?
Patton Oswalt
The Lonely Goatherd
David Copperfield (the Dickens character, not the magician)
Sheryl Sandberg

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What sort of car do you drive?
Honda Accord
Secondhand Landrover
VW Beetle
Tesla
What pet do you keep?
Bird
Dog
I can't even keep a plant alive.
Cat
What kind of marriage is best?
An egalitarian one
A traditional one
No marriage
A power couple

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How much do you think before you act?
A great deal
A healthy amount
Not enough
More than is a good idea
What issue is the most important to you when you vote?
Economy
Environment
Education
Women's rights
Have you ever been bullied?
Not really
A little
So, so much
Yes, I still am.

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Have you ever stood up to a bully on behalf of someone else?
Yes, a few times.
I wish.
No, I haven't dared.
Yes, many times
Do you think most people are generally telling the truth?
Most people, yes
Of course, nearly everyone is.
Nope
I think they think they are.
Can you personally lie with a straight face?
Nope
Only if it is a white lie
Yes, easily
If I have to

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What is your top worry about your future?
That I will let my family down
That my life will change in ways I do not choose
That I will never achieve security
That I will not fulfil my potential
What kind of person can you simply not abide?
Cruel people
Fake people
Smug people
Bigoted people
What kind of movie can you just not sit through?
Sci-fi
Horror
Sappy romance
Gratuitously sexist action movie

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Do you think you are a naturally lucky person?
Yes, very
I think so.
I'm slowly realizing I am.
I do not believe in luck.
Are you proactively grateful for all that you have?
Sometimes I forget to be.
Yes, much was given to me.
Not instinctively, but I'm learning to be.
Yes, I earned all of it.
Do you actively seek to identify and unpick prejudices you might have been taught?
Not really
I don't think I am very prejudiced.
I have been recently.
Yes, all the time

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Do you love one-upping the neighbors?
I don't mind it!
I don't care.
I love it!
I just want to do well by my own standards.
Are you generally able to bounce back from rough times?
Only slowly
I have never really been tested.
Yes, more and more
Yes, I always have been.
Who do you call first when you have a problem?
My bestie
My parents
I don't know.
My boo

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Do you find it easy to apologize when you ought to?
Yes, very easy
Depends on who I hurt
Nope
On the contrary, my problem is not saying it too much.
Do you ever feel like you are kind of an imposter?
Not really
Nope
Constantly
Less and less
What do you wish people appreciated about you?
I'm very thoughtful.
I have good values.
I'm creative.
I'm very strong.

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What correct assumption do people usually make about you?
I think things over, a lot.
I'm quite conservative.
I'm kind of a mess right now.
I'm a huge feminist.
If you take a nap, what time of day suits you best?
Late morning
Tea time
All the time
Just after lunch
What small victory makes you feel the most powerful?
When I get my kids to see why I want them to do something instead of just doing it because I say so
When I do all my chores and walk the dog before sunset
When I pay all my bills on time
When my colleagues take me seriously

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You Got: