Which Famous British Ruin Should You Renovate and Actually Live In?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which Famous British Ruin Should You Renovate and Actually Live In?
Image: Wiki Commons by DrMoschi

About This Quiz

Any nation with a history as old as that of the United Kingdom is going to collect its fair share of ruins. After all, if you don't take active care of a building, it will eventually crumble and return to nature, and the expense and complexity of maintenance only increase the older the building becomes. If you can't afford to keep it up, sometimes the best thing to do is simply give it up! 

Of course, not all ruins are created in this way. Sometimes they're the result of war or a vengeful monarch or they're simply caused by someone forgetting to snuff out their candle before falling asleep and knocking it over onto a curtain. Still, sometimes ruins come back from the brink of being swallowed up by nature — but you wouldn't want to live in any old ruin, even if it were spruced up.

Fortunately, this quiz is here to help you figure out which British ruin you should conquer and restore. We believe you can breath new life into an old building and put your own modern spin on it. So, tell us a little about yourself, and we'll find you the perfect fixer-upper in this quiz!



How many people do you like to entertain?
More than 100
More than 500
Up to 50
Up to 20

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What will you mostly spend your time doing in your new house?
Partying
Painting
Praying and fasting
Just lazing about

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Which part of the country do you want to live in?
Wales
Near London but not in it!
Up North
West Country

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Windows make or break a house. How do you like them?
Square and regular
Varied
Large and stained glass
Small and defensible

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Which period of British history floats your boat the most?
Roman Empire
Dark Ages
Tudor times
Medieval times

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Who will live in the house with you?
All my friends!
Artists from all over the world
Family
Just me

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Money is no object here, but how much would you like to spend anyway?
Up to €10m
Up to €100m
So much money. All of it.
Under €5m

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Who will futilely object to your renovation?
Everyone!
The neighbours
The church
Fusspots from some sort of preservation society

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What will you find when you excavate ahead of renovating?
Fossils
Coins
Bible
Beadwork

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What special room will you include that wasn't in the original building?
Game room
Movie theatre and artist studio
Multi-denominational prayer space
I will have it just as it was!

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How much parking will you include?
Loads and loads!
Not too much, but I'll flatten a field in case we need more sometimes.
Up to 20 cars
Up to 10 cars

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What sort of heating solution will you select?
Solar
Hypocaust
Fireplace
Geothermal

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What art will you put on the walls?
Frescoes
Mosaics
Reliquaries
Pop art, just to mix it up!

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How much will your neighbours be able to see of your property?
They can come over and see it whenever they like!
A bit, if they stand in the right spot
None
A lot, from a distance

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What technical challenge are you willing to overcome?
Wiring
Wi-fi
Insulation
Plumbing

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How much time will you spend at your new house?
I will travel often and share it via some sort of app when I am away.
Most of my time, but I will pop to London in the evenings sometimes.
I will never leave.
I will be there in the summers, but I have a plan to go there quickly in an apocalypse, so I can hide out.

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If you monetize your home, how will you do so?
I won't do that!
I will put on plays in my amphitheatre.
I will charge people to see the house.
I will charge for parties.

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Which part of the house do you think needs to make the best impression?
The dorms
The private theatre
The dining hall
The garden

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What feature must the gardens include?
Wide-open spaces to play football on
Croquet pitch
Water garden with many fountains
Tennis court

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Who will clean the house?
I will subcontract the cleaning to a nearby janitorial company.
My many servants
A couple of great housekeepers
I will clean it; it's not that big!

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How defensible should the house be?
Fairly defensible if properly staffed up
More than you'd think
Less than you'd think
It should be able to survive a horde of zombies without losing a single occupant.

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What sort of money are you prepared to lay out annually for upkeep?
Not a silly amount, but enough
I will monetize it so I don't have to lay out any.
A genuinely offensive amount
A sane but high amount

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How important is it to be high above sea level?
Somewhat
I don't feel strongly.
This is just a bonus to me.
This is essential.

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Would you prefer for this to be your final major project?
Yes, but I want it to take a while.
For now, sure
Yes, my energy is finite!
No, I'd like to do another nearby one afterwards.

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For what purpose would the place have originally been built, ideally?
Making war
Making money
Praying
Defending the kingdom

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What characteristic of the home is especially important to you?
It's simple and not too flouncy.
Acoustics
Atmosphere
It can be defended by a small but dedicated force.

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Would you like to have your own chapel?
No thanks. I don't pray.
I don't know what I'd use it for, but I'd like one.
I want the whole thing to be a chapel, so to speak!
Sure!

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How necessary is a dungeon?
Not very
I could improvise using the cellar.
I would prefer one.
It is essential to me.

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Who would be happy, historically speaking, to know that you have fixed this building?
Emperor Claudius
Emperor Hadrian
Thomas Becket
William the Conqueror

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What ongoing problem with the house are you prepared to tackle?
Wear and tear from my many, many guests
Plumbing and heating issues
Damp
Subsidence

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You Got: