You May Be a True Theater Kid If You Can Check Off 18 Things On This List

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
You May Be a True Theater Kid If You Can Check Off 18 Things On This List
Image: Hill Street Studios/Blend Images/Getty Images

About This Quiz

One of the strange misconceptions about showbiz is that people who work in it are cool and glamorous. Of course, showbiz is itself quite cool and glamorous, because that is the point of it on the surface. Broadway shows, like large award shows and Hollywood movies, are glitzy, spectacular, shiny affairs, full of beautiful smiling people who set the trends and draw the eye. They're talented, they're attractive, and everyone wants to be near them or simply to be them. They're the theater kids, living out the promise that it does, indeed, get better.

Of course, this is not what it is like to grow up as a theater kid. Theater is not where you go if you're glamorous, cool and popular in school; that is what sports are for. Theater is where you go if you're highly creative, nerdy and frankly odd. It is the glorious, weird, beautiful safe haven for the freaks, the geeks, the outcasts. Maybe it's because they are gay, or because they're dorks, or because they want to read novels and write comics (or vice versa) instead of caring about which Kardashian wore what, but the theater kids are all the folks who didn't fit in anywhere else. For many of them, theater is the lifeline that says it is OK to be different, to dream big, and to not even try to fit in. Later on, the theater kids find their freaky and fabulous wider theater and showbiz community waiting for them, and the promise of the high school theater club is fulfilled.

Are you one of these wonderful weirdos? Let's find out!

Have you ever stayed up until 3 a.m. painting something black?
So, so much black paint...
Just the once
Only midnight for me
Nope!

Advertisement

Did you put on plays with your cuddly toys as a kid?
Yes, and my Lego, and I made movies and made everyone watch them.
Yes, but I never showed anyone.
No, but they did have an in-house newsletter of which I was editor.
No, that's weird.

Advertisement

Have you ever walked into a wall becuase you were reading a book (anything on your phone doesn't count)?
Many times. It's a good thing I didn't hurt my beautiful face.
A few times
Once
No, only because of my phone

Advertisement

Have you ever had a performance go horribly wrong - someone puking mid-scene wrong - and soldiered on anyway?
Yes, once my whole costume fell to bits and my nude Lear was the hit of the season.
Yeah, people notice but what can you do?
Not horribly, no
Yes, and I died and it was the worst and since then I've realized theater is bad.

Advertisement

Do you write stories?
I wrote a 200,000 word fantasy epic the whole way through high school.
Yes, all my life
I dabble.
No, I can never think of anything.

Advertisement

If you'd kept all your notebooks and sketchbooks from childhood, how many would you have now?
A library
A wall
A shelf
Just the one

Advertisement

Do you write fanfic?
Yes, but then I moved on to building my own worlds.
A little light Whovian slash never did anyone any harm...
No, but I read it.
What is fanfic?

Advertisement

Do you refer to certain very major Broadway stars by just one name - e.g., Idina, Titus, Audra?
Totally
I might've.
Not really
That's weird.

Advertisement

Do you dread being made to participate in team sports?
They are hell.
They are purgatory.
They are fine, but my God some people take them too seriously.
They are awesome and also very important.

Advertisement

Are you solid or better academically?
I am a straight-A student.
I'm above solid.
I'm solid, yes.
I pay one of the nerds to write my essays, so I do great actually.

Advertisement

Are you heavily into nerd culture?
I am a Whovian and a Trekker and a Throner, and if it's dorky as heck I've cosplayed it and bought it and I know it back to front.
Yep, I can recite the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I like those superhero TV shows, but otherwise no.
No, that stuff is dumb.

Advertisement

Were you bullied literally the whole way through elementary and secondary school, with no breaks?
Yes, that was my life from 3-18.
There were intermittent breaks.
Not really
I was a bully.

Advertisement

Have you ever seen a Broadway show on tour?
Yes, any time I could afford it, that's what I spent it on.
Once or twice
No, I wish.
Ew, no

Advertisement

Have you ever traveled more than 40 miles to see a theatrical production?
I have probably gone as far as the moon to see theater, so far.
A few times
Just once, my parents made me.
No, that would cut into my not-doing-that time.

Advertisement

Have you ever kept a "dressing up box" at home, full of miscellaneous items like swords and capes, way past the age that most kids do?
I still have one, only now it is a garage full.
I sure did!
No, ours went at the usual age.
We never had one.

Advertisement

Have you ever been one of the misfits?
I still am, and I am proud of it!
I still am; don't tell anyone.
A little
No, I was the coolest kid in school.

Advertisement

What's the worst sitiuation your quick wit has ever successfully gotten you out of?
Literal violence; I talked my way out of multiple beatings by jocks.
Detention; the teacher just couldn't stay angry.
An F; the teacher gave me an extension because my apology was sincere and funny.
One time I was pulled over and I reminded the cop that my daddy is the commissioner, so I got off. Does that count?

Advertisement

Do you sometimes mentally "frame up" scenes and places in the real world, as if picturing them on stage or in a shot from a movie?
All the time, and I make people over mentally on public transport too. I just want everything to be fabulous.
Of course, that's just normal.
No, but that sounds fun.
No, that is really creepy.

Advertisement

Do you watch the Tony Awards?
Yes, I host a watch party every year.
Yes, secretly
If I remember
No, that's too much for me.

Advertisement

Which Tony speech have you practiced?
All of them, but mostly Best Actor/Actress
Best Book of a Musical
Best Production Design
I very much doubt I will ever get one.

Advertisement

Have you ever had a teacher who was That Teacher - the one you'd thank from the Oscar stage?
Yes, she was the drama teacher.
Yes, she was an English teacher.
Yes, she was a math teacher.
Nope

Advertisement

Have you ever been a stage hand or tech for a friend's show?
Of course, then they do it for you and you all have a good show.
So, so many times. I love doing it. I never need them to reciprocate.
A few times, but I was bad at it.
Why would anyone do that?

Advertisement

Have you ever been in a comedy that just... died?
Yes, a few times. Bombing on stage is the worst feeling in the world.
Just once and it was awful.
No, thank God.
Screw you pal, I'm hilarious.

Advertisement

Have you ever gotten ink all over your hands and then on something else you really didn't want to make inky?
Everything I own is inky, except costumes.
Many times
A few times
No, I only use keyboards now.

Advertisement

Have you ever met someone who thinks the arts don't matter and you were simply not able to process such madness?
Yes, they baffle me.
Yes, I don't try to talk them round any more.
Yes, I still try to get through.
Yes, and they were right!

Advertisement

Have you ever had to hiss "Line!" over your shoulder?
No, I am a professional.
Once or twice
Yes, many times
No, I only ever had one.

Advertisement

Have you ever gone on a diet to fit into a costume, then eaten 4,000 calories per day of snacks the stage manager brought in?
Oh man, every time
I might've once.
Nope
Yes, they did it on purpose to ruin my life.

Advertisement

Have you ever had a long and thoughtful discussion about your "type," for casting purposes?
Of course, otherwise how will I know when I find the right agent?
Yes but I'm really more a behind-the-scenes person.
Yes, for fun
Nope

Advertisement

Have you ever made a list of all the great roles you want to play?
Yes, do you want to see it? It's very long.
Yes, but I never will.
I fantasize, I won't lie.
No, performing makes me feel ill!

Advertisement

Have you ever made it your mission in life to belt a C?
Dude, I can do a G.
Yes. I can't.
Only in the shower.
I don't even understand the question.

Advertisement

You Got: